HEAVEN OR HELL...

This morning I had two incredible, very vivid dreams. Now I'm not going to bullshit in this journal because these two individual dreams had me in deep thoughts this morning and each of them gave me two different feelings altogether, one positive and the other negative so this journal is not just filler to fill my boredom. I'm going to be totally honest in this entry and some of the things written here that are depicted from these dreams will be offensive, so if you are the sensitive type that takes offense easily, just stop reading right here and don't read any further and have a nice life.

So shall we begin good people?

The first vivid dream started off with me walking down a perfectly crafted dirt road leading to somewhere. I wasn't aware of what type of clothing I was wearing because during all that time walking I had my hands in my pockets nonchalantly walking this dirt road. All this time I had my head down looking at the road, but then suddenly I stopped and saw a fast flash of light and the feeling and that nonchalant, uncertain feeling I had earlier then changed to sudden peace of mind, and sereneness. I looked straight ahead and saw a beautiful park. The grass was so green that it looked almost crisp with health, the sun was so blindingly bright, but I can still keep my eyes wide open to behold the beauty in front of me. I started to walk towards this park with my new calm peace of mind and then when I turned to the right of me, I saw this huge tree and I felt even more relaxed and safe in this area I was in. I walked towards it and then turned to my left and suddenly my whole entire body felt weak and lifeless then I snapped out of it and woke up from the vivid, beautiful, awesome short dream I had. When I stirred around in my bed and looked up at the clock, I woke up at 8:59 AM. The first dream I had was so beautiful, that I wanted to go back to sleep. So after I got up and went to the bathroom to take a piss break, I went back to bed hoping I would return to that park that I saw in my dream, 30 minutes later I started snoozing again.

The second vivid dream I had depicted me and my oldest uncle Veasna for some odd reason. We had umbrellas over our heads walking in a run down street. It was raining heavily with no thunder and the clouds looked ominously dark, and malevolent. My Uncle and I continued to walk in the rain and then we saw a bar with a sign on top of it that looked like it had Hebrew symbols on them. At the entrance of the bar was an opened door that was on fire. I urged my Uncle to come with me into the bar, but he hesitated. I went in and then I heard his mouth move but no noise came out from him and he decided to enter the bar with me. As we entered in the bar, I looked to my right to see if my Uncle was there, but no he disappeared, so it was only me to roam inside this bar, but as I looked around me, this wasn't a bar at all. It was some sort of terrifying, collective of nightmarish visions that happened in actual human history. Around me all I saw was these visions, and petroleum drums of fire coming in and out of them. I felt really uneasy in this mysterious place I was in, I had an instinct within me that the only way out is to move on forward so I continued walking witnessing the visions that are placed around me. The area was like a war zone, dark, and stormy with these visions played in front of me. One of the visions showed me the Twin Towers incident that happened in New York here in the States, another vision I can recall while walking in this realm was nuclear silos and a launch of nuclear missiles towards the sky. In my uneasiness while glancing at these visions showing in the stormy, black background like a hologram, a man's voice was talking in the background, I can't quite make out what the voice is talking about, but I had a feeling in my gut that the voice was talking about these visions and how it was all a setup plan for something sinister. After walking for at least two minutes, I saw my Father, my brother, and sister waving to me. They were at a food stand for some reason and there was a group of people standing around this food stand and waiting in line and listening to a group of what seems like Jewish Rabbis. I headed towards my family relieved to see them, and then I heard the Jewish Rabbis preaching about something I can't make out. There was this one Jewish looking man holding up a sign that says "JOIN US AND BE HUMANOIDS!". I can't really make out the words on the signs, but it was something of that nature on the sign. As I approached the food stand, to my confused state, the people working in the food stand looked to be Chinese. They sold a plethora of different food selections, most of them snacks such as chips and candy, but I also saw different cuts of meat that are hung in the back of the food stand, to my horror I saw what looked like to be a human's head hanging in the back, then I looked at the front of the food stand and saw a freshly slaughtered kitten on a humongous glue trap that is specified for large rodents. At this time I felt horrified and confused at the same time, I didn't know what to think! Then my Father broke my state of mind and told me and my siblings to buy some snacks from the food stand. Everybody else behind us are taking out their money and and directed towards them to the food stand while I hear the voices of the Rabbis preaching louder. I didn't know why I said this, but I asked the person in charge of the food stand, why do we need to pay when we're already dead? The Chinese woman that was in charge of the stand just gave me a sneer then all of the sudden I heard a huge, terrifying, thunderous roar from the background. Out of the darkness behind the Jewish Rabbis appeared to be a street gate. I approached the gate and looked inside of it and saw a concert stage and a huge group of people just standing there. All of the sudden I saw flames coming out in front of the concert stage and what I saw next had me in a state of immediate fear. A monstrous figure appeared in front of the stage and the crowd of people all started screaming, this monster had huge horns coming out of it's head and sharp, gaping vampire like teeth with a bulky, muscular build with what seems to be behind him a pair of huge eagle wings. The legs of this monster looked to be like a bulls and it had a Tyrannosaurus-like tail. I froze in fear and just stared at the thing, it looked at me and said something in a language I didn't understand, it sounded Greek-Hebrewish. The vocals of this monster had two voices in them, one female and one male and the sound of its voice made me just stood still in fear. I turned to my left and saw my Father, but he looked different. He has sharp teeth and glowing red eyes and roared at me then it went dark. Sleep paralysis hit me afterward, I tried my best to wake up from it but it seemed like ages. I knew I was awake, but my body wasn't responding. After what seemed like ten minutes, I finally woke up and slowly looked at the clock, it was 10:47 AM. I don't know why this horrifying dream was longer than the dream I wanted to return to; the park dream that had me feeling free and calm. I stirred slowly out of my bed, and was still in shock of what I witnessed in my dream. I got up, and prepared myself to go take a shower.

Now here's the thing, you might just read all that and say to me "Aw Austin! Those were just random, weird dreams you had! There's no significance to them!" I would say the exact same thing if you were the one writing what you experienced in your dreams, but afterwards having those two incredible, vivid dreams, I was in deep thought. Both dreams had an significant impact on what I felt afterwards this morning, and I had to tell someone about it! The first dream I woke up afterward had me feeling calm, happy, and content. I haven't really felt like that in a LONG ass time, that is the reason why I wanted to go back to sleep and return to that paradise of a park in that particular dream. The second dream I woke up from had me feeling groggy, tired, confused, and drained; the opposite of what I felt from the dream I had about that beautiful park.

I don't know, but these two particular dreams I had this morning made me think. Maybe there is a paradise and purgatory type realms we can't see. I thought to myself, maybe my soul came out of my body and went to these realms but these visions I had didn't feel like dreams at all. It was like I was actually there, witnessing the positive energy of the heavenly park and wallowing in the confused, negative energy of the realm of malevolence. I don't know what your personal spiritual beliefs are, or if you even have any spiritual beliefs, but go ahead and call me crazy. I think the spirit of what we call "God" show me that there is a type of heaven and there is a type of hell. Maybe I'm just looking way too deep into this on a spiritual level, but man these "dreams" impacted me today like no other. I think in a way, heaven and hell exists in each and every one of us, like the yin and yang. I surmise that my spiritual half is attempting to recognize these aspects of my self and put them as an analytic visual allegory in my sleep.

But I don't know why the "Hell" vivid dream is longer than that awesome, peaceful, beautiful dream I had before it. Maybe my spiritual side is saying that negative energy is dominating my positive half, or maybe God is giving me a sign that when I die my soul is going to purgatory, so in order to reach paradise I have to change my life. Who knows? These dream experiences I had earlier were so astronomical to me that I had to share them first to the community of one of my most favorite websites. I'm spoiling you motherfuckers, consider yourselves lucky!

Tell me your guys' opinions on this!

-Austin